May 3, 2013 • 3 notes •
Stephanie: do you think most people would welcome corn in a chicken taco or not?
Adam: no idea.
Stephanie: um... it's just your opinion.
Adam: i have no opinion on what most people would welcome. that would be a weird opinion to have.
Stephanie: i think most would not like it. i would love it. easy opinion to have. bye!
Adam: strange opinion. see ya!
March 20, 2013 • 3 notes •
Las Vegas, circa 1998. A photo booth combined our faces and spit out what our child would look like. We named him Timmy. The trip ended with a screaming fight in the car, pulled over on the side of the road in Primm, NV.

Las Vegas, circa 1998. A photo booth combined our faces and spit out what our child would look like. We named him Timmy. The trip ended with a screaming fight in the car, pulled over on the side of the road in Primm, NV.

March 15, 2013 • 2 notes •
Stephanie: i gave my mom that vegas trip i won. so she, alan, margie, and liz are all going in may. i think i may book a room for myself and surprise them.
Adam: what vegas trip you won?
Stephanie: gah. at my work holiday party, i won a trip for two to vegas for two nights at caesar's and two tix to shania twain. i told you this.
Adam: no you didn't.
Stephanie: you just don't listen to me.
Adam: what did you have to do to win it?
Stephanie: i didn't do anything to win. just work here.
Adam: that sounds like a terrible contest.
Stephanie: everyone wins something at the holiday party.
Adam: fucking hippies.
Stephanie: this one guy won a diamond watch and is a huge shania twain fan and wanted to trade. i felt pressured. he was all "i have no one to give this watch to! do you even like shania twain?"
Adam: you could've taken the watch and hocked it.
Stephanie: but i know liz and margie love shania.
Adam: did it annoy you when colin suggested we should get married? like do you feel insulted that we'd be seen as a viable match?
Stephanie: it doesn't annoy me, it just... people have no idea. hey, guess what? i just got accepted for that 8 week writing course!
Adam: but i mean, it doesn't annoy you on a "i can't believe they think i'd be with that loser" level?
Stephanie: nah, everyone knows i date down.
Adam: right.
Stephanie: no it doesn't annoy me like that, don't be silly. it's just... people have no idea what we've been through. god, poquito más sounds so good right now.
Adam: you missed out. though the chix burrit did not sit well.
Stephanie: ew, did you leave the "o" off burrito on purpose?
Adam: yep. pronounced "burreet."
Stephanie: reason #72 why i would never be with you. also, be less supportive and surprised about the writing course.
Adam: i think it's fantastic.
Stephanie: just got a confirmation email and they already sent my first task! ugh. i hate this class.
Adam: is week 2 "how to stop blowing off adam when he tries to set up a writing session?"
Stephanie: be positive. i'm trying.
Adam: i genuinely think it's great.
Stephanie: oh, it's just a reading assignment before the first class. good. i don't want to have to write or share anything.
Adam: oh, jesus.
Stephanie: yet!
Adam: ok, good. because taking a writing course but not wanting to write could prove problematic.
Stephanie: baby steps.
Adam: have you ever seen a baby walk? they practically lurch.
Stephanie: by the way, if you ever need an allergist, the one i just saw was great. shapiro on riverside.
Adam: that's also the name of the store where i buy my yarmulkes. what were your results?
Stephanie: no clam allergy. he thinks i had a "bad batch."
Adam: i bet you'll avoid them now anyway.
Stephanie: the allergy dr. asked me so many questions, i felt like i was on the witness stand. at one point i said i have dry and watery eyes. he was like, "dry AND watery?"
Adam: hilarious.
Stephanie: i wish oranges came peeled.
Adam: that might be the laziest thing i've ever heard.
Stephanie: it's hard. i never had to do it until this last year.
Adam: why last year?
Stephanie: that's when i really started eating them. without help.
Adam: and who was your official peeler before last year?
Stephanie: the receptionist at my old job.
Adam: just your oranges or all fruit? did she peel grapes for you too?
Stephanie: don't be dumb.
Adam: yeah. you didn't peel your own oranges until your late 30s, and i'm the dumb one.
Stephanie: mid 30s.
Adam: if you say so.
March 10, 2013 • 3 notes •
Stephanie: i just spent 5 minutes googling cotswold cheese.
Adam: that seems like an awfully long time.
Stephanie: well, cotswold first, then I looked into double gloucester. perusing variations with chives, without, etc.
Adam: it's one of my favorite cheeses.
Stephanie: god, it's amazing. had it today at my friend's shop.
Adam: way to work in that your friend has a shop.
Stephanie: it was so good! i want more cheese. hungry.
Adam: i'm at bj's brewery of all places.
Stephanie: yum. It's actually not bad. my brother loves the pizookie. It's a pizza cookie.
Adam: i've had it many times, missy.
Stephanie: k.
Adam: damn, I thought "missy" would annoy you.
Stephanie: nope. do we lose an hour or gain tonight?
Adam: spring forward, fall back, asshole.
Stephanie: ugh. but which is it? am i in spring?
Adam: no. the rest of us are in spring. you're in fall.
Stephanie: no cotswold for you!
Adam: they have red velvet pizookies now.
Stephanie: gross. i said my brother likes them, not me, asshole.
Adam: there are a host of other flavors too.
Stephanie: i'm dying for food. i want bj's.
Adam: me too. wink wink.
Stephanie: ugh.
Adam: i feel like sometimes you forget I'm a guy.
Stephanie: guys don't talk like that to grown women unless they're douches.
Adam: come on. guys take advantage of obvious joke opportunities.
Stephanie: honestly, the ones I know don't really. you do.
Adam: oh yeah? well define "grown women."
Stephanie: i'm bored with this conversation.
Adam: fine. what would you rather talk about?
Stephanie: nicole richie went from hideous to gorge.
Adam: never did it for me.
Stephanie: so cute now.
Adam: you definitely forget that I'm a guy.
May 31, 2012 • 4 notes •
Stephanie: i wish i could act out for you what i just did in the bathroom.
Adam: ewwww.
Stephanie: nono. i went to flush the toilet with my foot, like i always do at work, but forgot to pull up my skinny jeans first.
Adam: so your ass was hanging out?
Stephanie: well who cares about that? the thing was, they were tight around my knees, so when i went to lift my foot, my leg came down sharply like some kind of crazy soldier. crazy almost naked soldier.
Adam: i'm picturing john cleese goose-stepping in fawlty towers.
Stephanie: exactly. but cuter.
Adam: if you say so. cleese was pretty darned adorable.
Stephanie: tell me again - what's washington and what's washington, d.c.
Adam: COME ON. you don't mean that.
Stephanie: i do. i told you i don't know geography.
Adam: you don't know that the president is in DC?! the government?!
Stephanie: yes, but where is that?
Adam: back east. on the potomac.
Stephanie: why is it called washington?
Adam: because a lot of black people live there. why do you think?!
Stephanie: come on, i'm serious.
Adam: why is the seat of our nation called... "washington"?
Stephanie: ok, i get it, but where is it exactly?
Adam: jesus christ, stephanie, you had a private school education! what were those nuns and priests teaching you? the precise chemical reaction which causes wafers to melt when mixed with saliva?
Stephanie: ugh. stop screaming.
Adam: if you had asked me this when we were dating, i would've walked out on you even sooner.
Stephanie: isn't washington near us? i'll go look at a map again.
Adam: unbelievable. washington state is above oregon, which is above us, and it's just below vancouver, which is in a magical land called "canada."
Stephanie: i see that. this map doesn't show washington, d.c.
Adam: that's on purpose - it's to trick our enemies. and apparently some of our citizens.
Stephanie: whoa. wikipedia says it's not part of any state.
Adam: because it's not. it's a district. the district of columbia. virginia and maryland border it.
Stephanie: would've been easy for you to explain, rather than my having to google.
Adam: it's so bizarre. you're so fucking smart and then you have these weird gaps in knowledge.
Stephanie: so do you! i'd like to see you answer my questions about "real housewives."
Adam: if they made a "real housewives of d.c." we wouldn't be having this conversation.
Stephanie: they did have one. but i hated it and it was canceled after season 1 so i didn't get the lay of the land.
Adam: well i'm glad i was able to help draw you a mental picture.
Stephanie: my google search: "washington vs washington dc map"
Adam: google results: "you're a moron."
February 23, 2012 • 1 note •
Stephanie: have you ever dated someone who once slept with someone you find disgusting? and isn't it horrific? it's like fucking a monster by proxy. also, remember when you broke [name redacted]'s rib after you saw us making out? today's my birthday. it's a time to reflect.
Adam: happy birthday. now lemme poop and then i'll answer.
Stephanie: dude. i'm eating a lean pocket, please don't be gross.
Adam: i feel like it doesn't bother me as much as it does you.
Stephanie: k.
Adam: i don't mean the poop talk. the other thing.
Stephanie: i know. thank you.
Adam: i feel like i usually am the person who's horrific. it's a future boyfriend of theirs who has to be repulsed. and yes, i remember the rib, thanks. my lifelong best friend and i spent the next 48 hours waiting to see if i'd mortally wounded him. i was convinced i'd end up in prison on a manslaughter rap.
Stephanie: omg, i forgot to tell you. [name redacted] called and asked me out!
Adam: who?
Stephanie: my friend [name redacted].
Adam: sounds vaguely familiar.
Stephanie: i didn't expect it. i'm so uncomfortable. i'm stomach achey over it.
Adam: that's absurd.
Stephanie: i want to avoid him now.
Adam: oh my god, get over it.
Stephanie: no! he's my friend!!
Adam: big woop. he's your friend, he asked you out, you said no. he took a shot.
Stephanie: i hate being asked out.
Adam: you don't hate being asked out.
Stephanie: i do too.
Adam: you hate being asked out if you're not interested.
Stephanie: well, right.
Adam: as opposed to the tons of people who love it?
Stephanie: i get very uncomfortable turning people down. some people think it's no biggie.
Adam: "some people." very scientific.
Stephanie: i resent people who ask me out. he's also so old that he's practically dead.
Adam: that's why i never asked you out. just let you crawl into bed with me at night when you stumbled in from da clubs.
Stephanie: stop.
Adam: so what are you going to do to celebrate your birthday?
Stephanie: well i've already slept with all of your friends so i guess just dinner with the girls.
Adam: you should have ribs.
Stephanie: what's that superbowl guy's name? tom...?
Adam: are you kidding me?
Stephanie: the one with gisele bundchen.
Adam: brady. jesus.
February 13, 2012 • 2 notes •
Stephanie: searching for a job reveals a lot about me.
Adam: such as?
Stephanie: for instance, i just saw the word "dynamic" and closed the posting.
Adam: don't look for excuses not to apply!
Stephanie: i'm not. i'm just not dynamic.
Adam: most postings will say the same thing. half the time, they don't even know what they mean by that.
Stephanie: it's all "self starter" and i'm like "eh."
Adam: let THEM decide if you're a dynamic self starter or not.
Stephanie: stop screaming. i'm too tired to be dynamic.
Adam: maybe you'll find a posting where the employers are looking for someone anemic.
Stephanie: i would love that.
Adam: you know how i know i'm over 40? i just made an appointment with a urologist.
Stephanie: you know how i know im 37? i can't jump without peeing.
Adam: jump? i can't stand without peeing.
Stephanie: what's pac ten?
Adam: a college football division.
Stephanie: is it a big deal?
Adam: define big deal. it's one of the major conferences.
Stephanie: i touched a stranger's ring and it said pac 10 on it. it was sparkly. he took it off and handed it to me.
Adam: maybe a USC alum? it's now the pac-12, by the way. 6 teams in the pac-12 north, 6 in the pac-12 south...
Stephanie: so boring. forget i asked.
Adam: k.
Stephanie: it was really sparkly.
January 20, 2012 • 3 notes •
Stephanie: is it "totes mcgroats" or "totes mcgoats"?
Adam: mcgotes.
Stephanie: i hate it so much.
Adam: i hate myself for knowing it.
Stephanie: why did you make it -ote?
Adam: cause i feel like that's what it is. it has nothing to do with actual goats.
Stephanie: but it has to do with gotes?
Adam: apparently.
Stephanie: it's all awful. i seriously hate people.
Adam: did you hear about the mcdonald's in alabama that tested a McGoat sandwich?
Stephanie: stop it. liar.
Adam: google it!
Stephanie: children's hospital hasn't gotten back to me on my volunteer interview.
Adam: no idea what you're babbling about.
Stephanie: i want to volunteer at the hospital, but it's such a long fucking process. there is no McGoat you asshole.
Adam: hahaha i love that you googled it. did i ever tell you that i offered to volunteer for the braille institute, reading books on tape for the blind?
Stephanie: wait, you don't know braille.
Adam: i offered to READ BOOKS ON TAPE, idiot, not translate braille.
Stephanie: why would they have books on tape at the braille institute?
Adam: my grandmother, when she went blind, used to love the books on tape that the braille institute sent to her.
Stephanie: awww.
Adam: so out of gratitude, i later volunteered to read said books and be recorded, seeing as how i was a working voice over actor at the time. the braille institute turned me down.
Stephanie: too lispy.
Adam: no, because i didn't have a college degree.
Stephanie: stfu.
Adam: stg.
Stephanie: i'm writing a letter.
Adam: it was 20 years ago.
Stephanie: did they actually respond and cite that as a reason?
Adam: yes. they turned me down as a volunteer, period, due to my lack of a degree.
Stephanie: i don't believe you. makes no sense.
Adam: i know! my thought is that it was just an excuse they used because of how i looked.
Stephanie: ew, when was this.
Adam: when i had long hair/ripped jeans and smelled like a pack of marlboro reds.
Stephanie: i'm gonna apply as a volunteer just to see if they accept me.
Adam: you have a college degree.
Stephanie: then I'll call them out on it.
Adam: this is a terrible plan.
Stephanie: why is it so hard to volunteer?
Adam: be back in a bit, i need to go have lunch with chad and his father, your Facebook friend.
Stephanie: wait, why aren't i invited?
Adam: because you volunteered to come.
Stephanie: so dumb. where are you going?
Adam: john o'groat's.
January 4, 2012 • 5 notes •
Adam: i need a favor from you at some point today.
Stephanie: dude. i have a rat.
Adam: what did you name it?
Stephanie: not funny. i'm freaking out. i found droppings in my linens drawer, so i threw everything out.
Adam: why not just wash them?! hot water and detergent is sufficient to kill whatever.
Stephanie: gross! i'm sickened. i feel like i have rats in my ears.
Adam: your ears?!
Stephanie: please dont be a jerk today.
Adam: honey, rats can't fit in your ears. judd nelson's nostrils, maybe, but not your ears.
Stephanie: i don't THINK they're in my ears, i FEEL like they are. so gross. anyway, what's the favor?
Adam: seems moot now. i wanted you to babysit my pet rat.
Stephanie: so unbelievably stupid.
November 30, 2011 • 3 notes •
Adam: i leave town tomorrow.
Stephanie: for?
Adam: arizona.
Stephanie: why?
Adam: family trip to the grand canyon.
Stephanie: the grand canyon is in arizona?
Adam: oh, christ.
Stephanie: thought it was in nevada.
Adam: you're thinking of the grand canyon hotel and casino.
Stephanie: i forgot the girl who works at my gym is half black and this morning i waved my finger around and asked her if i looked ghetto.
Adam: you "forgot"?
Stephanie: then i rambled on about how katrina talks like that sometimes even though she's white. and about how ghetto doesn't mean black.
Adam: i just winced.
Stephanie: because i realized...
Adam: no, i get it.
Stephanie: thankfully, she just laughed and said "you don't look ghetto. you look like mr. peanut."
Adam: holy shit, you DO look like mr. peanut.
Stephanie: shut up!
Adam: i always felt your right eye looked like it had a built-in monocle.
Stephanie: omg r u serious right now?! do i have a wandering eye?? i constantly look it up online!
Adam: how does "monocle" equate to "wandering eye"?
Stephanie: omg, avoid answering much?
Adam: i don't really think you look like you have a monocle.
Stephanie: i seriously despise you.
Adam: renee zellweger looks like she has a peanut allergy.
Stephanie: goodbye. you're an asshole.
Adam: oh, stop it. i was doing a bit. you're ridiculous.
Stephanie: you know i seriously worry about that.
Adam: because you're absurd.
Stephanie: people who have wandering eyes don't know they do. i even asked my eye doctor.
Adam: and he said...?
Stephanie: "no."
Adam: right.
Stephanie: but you think i do?
Adam: i will seriously kill you.
Stephanie: why won't you just answer?
Adam: oh my god. YOU DON'T HAVE A LAZY EYE.
Stephanie: i said wandering!!!
Adam: you seriously just walked right into that for me. bless you. you don't have a wandering eye.
Stephanie: thank you. you have a lisp though.
November 17, 2011 • 3 notes •
Stephanie: another dream last night about being attacked by wild cats.
Adam: what's with you and the mad pussy?
Stephanie: only this time i was really protecting the one nice cat. and when i say "wild cats", these were practically jaguars.
Adam: practically.
Stephanie: whatever they're called. tigers.
Adam: jaguars are not called tigers. jaguars, por ejemplo, are found in the americas. and that's just one difference!
Stephanie: they're fast and skinny is my point.
Adam: do you think the tiguar was symbolic of you? are you really trying to protect yourself?
Stephanie: no. it latched on to my head. and everyone was trying to get it off me.
Adam: so it's me?
Stephanie: but i was thinking "no... at least it's leaving the little cat alone." 'cause I'm selfless.
Adam: you can't see me, but i just did a spit take.
Stephanie: can i get away with a fur trapper hat?
Adam: depends. a leopard might mistake it for prey. which makes sense, i guess, since you're a cougar.
Stephanie: don't be mean!!
Adam: oh, come on, how could i not?
Stephanie: so rude. i'm not old! and i don't go for young men!
Adam: i know, i know. settle down. my sitcom about you: "Suddenly Sensy"
Stephanie: that's a funny bit.
Adam: thanks.
Stephanie: let's shoot it. with a theme song.
Adam: please, i live it.
Stephanie: you're very rude today. reminds me of my sitcom idea for you. "The Flying Grouch."
Adam: so dumb and yet i laughed.
Stephanie: me too.
Adam: flying. kills me.
Stephanie: still laughing.
Adam: me too.
Stephanie: hey, wait, you didn't ask about my scar.
Adam: was i supposed to?
Stephanie: yes.
Adam: i didn't realize. tell me about your scar.
Stephanie: so you know how i have that white scar? from when i fell down the stairs at rob mailhouse's?
Adam: sure, why not?
Stephanie: well part of it has looked a little different lately. so i finally just went in the bathroom to check it out. i squeezed it a little… and stuff came out!
Adam: ewwwwww.
Stephanie: it was a zit! right up against the scar! i don't get zits ever. like twice a year.
Adam: so glad i asked about your scar.
October 27, 2011 • 1 note •
Stephanie: i can't wait to get new teeth.
Adam: ?
Stephanie: i'm getting enamels.
Adam: really?
Stephanie: no, not really. but i want them.
Adam: ready to hear the tweet you just inspired?
Stephanie: yes.
Adam: "I really wish my dentist would stop showing me the video 'Enamels Do The Funniest Things.'"
Stephanie: eh.
Adam: i knew you wouldn't like it.
Stephanie: are they really called enamels? i was crunched and didn't have time to google. veneers. make it veneers.
Adam: are you fucking kidding me?
Stephanie: no. why?
Adam: make my tweet "veneers"?
Stephanie: yeah, why?
Adam: how is that a play on "Animals Do The Funniest Things"?
Stephanie: ohhhhh. just got it. yeah, that's funny.
Adam: god you're dumb. what did you think it meant?
Stephanie: you know, like "Kids Do…" but enamels.
Adam: "Veneers do the Funniest Things!" There's a 50 star tweet.
Stephanie: cracking up.
Adam: okay, so remember how i told you that the "pretzel lady" was coming to work today?
Stephanie: yep.
Adam: the pretzels turned out to be "pretzel crisps."
Stephanie: ick. i was excited for you to have soft hot pretzels.
Adam: me too. they did, however, bring a bunch of things to eat them with: hard salami, cheese, hummus, rondele, nutella, etc. guac.
Stephanie: ew. please don't ever say "guac" after "nutella" again.
September 21, 2011 • 3 notes •
Stephanie: you know how i often get pain behind my right eye?
Adam: i do know that, yes.
Stephanie: "optic neuritis: this serious inflammatory condition can affect the nerve to the eye as well as the muscles that lie close to the optic nerve. generally, the vision becomes blurry and sometimes color perception problems will be noticed. it responds to steroid injections, but can recur and may be a precursor for multiple sclerosis."
Adam: and you know this is what you have? you've been diagnosed?
Stephanie: no. i just read that.
Adam: that's what i thought. you actually just have optic neurosis.
Stephanie: did you watch the emmys?
Adam: just the very beginning and the very end.
Stephanie: i forgot why i asked you that. it was a precursor to something. omg MS!
Adam: don't worry, if you have MS, i'll help take care of you when you're incapacitated.
Stephanie: what a minch. (i pretend i don't know jew words to bug you).
Adam: did i tell you i saw a baby at a party that was your baby doppelganger? complete with the fact that she glared at me.
Stephanie: there are so many things i should do and i don't want to do anything. i want to write and work out and eat. instead i watch friends. who is susan g. komen?
Adam: the susan g. komen race for the cure. breast cancer charity? pink ribbons?
Stephanie: never heard of her.
Adam: very famous. she died in 1980.
Stephanie: i've heard of pink ribbons.
Adam: by the way, whenever you just text "where are u?" i always think something is wrong.
Stephanie: why?
Adam: it implies you need me for something.
Stephanie: i didn't mean to imply that.
Adam: otherwise why not just text what you wanna text?
Stephanie: i didn't want to text anything.
Adam: then why did you want to know where i was?
Stephanie: cause you hadn't been online all day.
Adam: you know what i do when you haven't been online all day?
Stephanie: don't care?
Adam: wait til the next day.
Stephanie: and that is why you'll die alone and i am engaged.
Adam: no, no, steph. you're not engaged.
Stephanie: oh.
September 10, 2011 • 3 notes •
Stephanie: so excited. my cocaine needlepoint is done!
Adam: no idea what that means.
Stephanie: ugh. the needlepoint i ordered. i sent you a link once.
Adam: sorry i'm not up to date on your kitschy tchotchkes.
Stephanie: someone named @shitonmytits just re-tweeted me. i'm so proud.
Adam: so i've been meaning to tell you. a co-worker of mine called me out on living in my car.
Stephanie: what?!
Adam: he saw all the shit in there and made a joke like "are you living in your car?" then he got a closer look and said "ohh my god, you ARE living in your car!"
Stephanie: you're not living in your car. you're between places.
Adam: i had to explain to him that i'm living OUT of my car.
Stephanie: exactly.
Adam: it was awkward. he seemed horrified.
Stephanie: like i'm not OUT of my mind, i'm just super deep IN my mind.
Adam: it's all so sad. remember when i had a career?
Stephanie: nope!
Adam: was my career over by the time i met you?
Stephanie: yep!
Adam: you don't have to sound so excited about it.
Stephanie: at least you have a job now.
Adam: true. partly thanks to you, oddly enough.
Stephanie: wouldn't it be gunny if i had a small part in changing your life? now why would my phone autocorrect anything to "gunny"?
Adam: gunny was 1920s slang for "peachy" or "ducky". like "wouldn't that be just gunny!"
Stephanie: really?
Adam: no.
Stephanie: omg! reese witherspoon was hit by a car! rushed to hospital! oh, she's fine. never mind. lates.
September 7, 2011 • 3 notes •
Stephanie: i feel barfy.
Adam: sorry to hear it. no, seriously, i'm really sorry i have to hear it.
Stephanie: also, horrifying dream that wild kittens were attacking me and other tame cats.
Adam: are you implying that you are also a tame cat?
Stephanie: meow.
Adam: wild kittens, by the way.
Stephanie: kinda [name redacted's] fault. we were watching this animal thing.
Adam: have you ever been in love?
Stephanie: what?
Adam: you heard me.
Stephanie: i honestly don't even know what that means.
Adam: evasive.
Stephanie: no, i really don't. does it mean you really care AND are attracted to? or can't live without or what?
Adam: i dunno.
Stephanie: i'm not being evasive. i don't think i know what being in love is. i know when i'm NOT it. i was never in love with [name redacted].
Adam: i know.
Stephanie: or [name redacted].
Adam: right.
Stephanie: or [name redacted].
Adam: exactly.
Stephanie: but is being in love supposed to be a process of elimination thing?
Adam: is it?
Stephanie: huh? i was asking you that. you seem to know more about it than i do.
Adam: i know nothing.
Stephanie: i will say this. being alone isn't that bad.
Adam: who ever said it was?
Stephanie: a lot of people, especially women. occasionally me.
Adam: more importantly, i need you to come up with some celebrity for me that has furniture or hardware for a name. like quarterback tim couch.
Stephanie: sofa coppola.
Adam: funny, but not her name.
Stephanie: omg! snot just waved out my nose!
Adam: waved?!
Stephanie: not like yours that one time, it didn't leave the area.
Adam: what area? between your columella and your philtrum?
Stephanie: never had that happen before. what is happening to me?!
Adam: what's the protocol here? should i wave back?