Stephanie: does mike ever send you pics of his peep?
Adam: who?!
Stephanie: omg. that wasn't meant for you!
Adam: who in god's name was that for?
Stephanie: tracy. about her husband.
Adam: well does he?
Stephanie: hold on... [long beat]... "no, never."
Adam: did you see nancy reagan fall and marco rubio catch her?
Stephanie: kinda sad. she goes over like a figurine.
Adam: old people falling. always sad and pathetic.
Stephanie: i don't want my grandmother to die!!
Adam: she's not going to.
Stephanie: i went to the rustic last night and ran into jim.
Adam: i was at the rustic last night. when were you there?
Stephanie: i wasn't. it was a really dumb trick with no payoff.
Adam: i figured as much. why jim?
Stephanie: trying to make the non-run in sound as awkward as possible. or something.
Adam: huh?
Stephanie: look, it wasn't well thought out. what should i get my intern as a thank you?
Adam: blow job.
Stephanie: you're my least favorite thing.
Adam: please, you adore me.
Stephanie: ooh, speaking of favorite things... i'm starting to tire of gwyneth.
Adam: WHOOOOOOOOAAAHHHH!!!!
Stephanie: she's just kinda... not cool anymore.
Adam: welcome to 1999.
Stephanie: come on, she was so cute in "sliding doors."
Adam: right. that was 1998.